A Tribute to Amy...well, sort of...

 Tribute to Amy…Sort of…

With regard to the premature but unremarkable demise of Ms Winehouse, I have started a very popular 'thread' on Facebook, which I am now opening for debate through the portal of my blog.
One commentator suggested that a large number of popular musicians have died at the age of 27, thus depriving the world of their unfulfilled genius.

I replied that it may be an interesting and amusing diversion to compile a top ten of artistes whose early mortal departure would not have been missed by subsequent generations of music lovers.
Here are a few suggestions:

At No 10: Pete 'talentless'Doherty

No9: Dido - although mourned by people who like “music for people who don't like music”.

At No8: Charlotte 'where are my knickers gone to?' Church.

At No7: Cliff 'honestly I'm not gay' Richard. There was an IRA plot to assassinate him in the '80s but it was annulled by the Chief-of-Staff as his popularity was ranked even below that of Thatcher's, and, as such would actually be welcomed by the British public.

At No6:  Madonna - she's just a slut who sadly gave up eventing before a cross country fence could see her off.

At No5: Mika - now thankfully pretty much a spent force but rivalled Pinky + Perky as an irritant at his height.

At No4: All of the Bee Gees, the Monkeys, and any commercial male American-based band of the '60s, '70s and '80s.

At No3: in joint place: Michael Jackson and Elvis. Oh, sorry didn't realise they'd already gone. Still have to listen to the shite they pumped out though.

At No2: Bono - no explanation required for this inclusion...and at Number 1...
...Is...
Yes, folks...Sir Paul McShite McCartney. The wrong Beatle was shot if we are judging on potential musical heritage. Actually, if we're judging on any criteria.

Please note that some obvious candidates - such as Bob Geldof and Ringo Starr - have been excluded on the grounds that they cannot in any way be classed as musicians.

Van Morrison was suggested but rejected by the author. Middle aged Ulstermen have every right to be grumpy and say what the feck they want.

Feel free to submit your very own top 10.

THE BLOG IS BACK

THE BLOG IS BACK

My blog has had a bit of a rest recently as I’ve been concentrating on finishing the first draft of my novel, currently entitled: “Cowboys and Indians”.

For those of you who can read (this probably excludes most of our Facebook brethren) you can follow this link: http://www.authonomy.com/books/35262/cowboys-and-indians/ and read the first ninety pages on the Harper Collins website, Authonomy. Please feel free to leave a comment as I welcome advice and criticism.

Below is a synopsis of it with the “Strap line”.

Cowboys and Indians is a Black comedy set in South Armagh during the Troubles. Double agent "Fishknife" has one final assignment to perform to erase his past and pocket £5.5m.

John Harris has unique skills. Aged 17 and disaffected with life, he opts for a career as an IRA terrorist.

Diffident and cold, he soon becomes the perfect killing machine. Then he meets Ellen, the niece of the head of the PIRA and falls in love her. He is led to believe that she - and their child - were assassinated by Special Branch.

But when he finds out that he has been used and lied to, he “turns” and becomes a double agent working for the MI6 sanctioned Force Research Unit.

Given the codename “Fishknife”; his nom de plume becomes the harbinger for death and destruction across the province in a British Government sanctioned blood-fest.

But then the Good Friday Agreement makes him redundant. He passes the time in his native Derry working as a Life Coach for former terrorists, writing erotic fiction under a pseudonym and his Saturday nights as a ‘70s disco DJ.

And then he receives the phone call he has been waiting for.

To claim the £5.5 million in a Gibraltar bank account, he must assassinate Sir John Stephenson, whose report is about to reveal who he is and expose the depths to which the British Government sunk during The Troubles.

Before, that is, they can assassinate him.

Well, that’s it folks!